Campaign of the Month: June 2022

Baldur's Gate

Ocean's Failures

It's Better to Fuck Than Heal Your Legs

Picking up over a month after the last session, the party was in Twin Songs preparing for the heist of the Guild Stash.

Raoden was given Invisibility and Flight potions and Oliver made himself sneaky, so they could go jack the loot.
Raoden then teleported Oliver inside the place through Max’s senses, and flew up to enter through the window.
The moment Oliver appeared, he appeared right in a floor trap, biting sharply into his leg, breaking it and restraining him.
He managed to open it back up and re-arm it, but then realized he’s restrained and didn’t do any of that.
Raoden flew up and through the bell tower’s trap door, then tried to open the door to Oliver. He felt a prick in his hand which started to go numb, and he got poisoned apparently.
He began telling Oliver that he’s not feeling so good, but then just stopped talking as he got paralyzed from the poison.
Oliver resumed his escape attempts while Max flew away to try and get the group’s help.
Finley gave Aria a potion of flight so she could go rescue Seal Team Shit and she flew up to the bell tower.
She helped Oliver get out of the trap and grabbed the invisible Raoden, and they all went out of the tower, staying just outside while the church’s priest went around looking for the intruders.
A few moments later Raoden thumped on the ground when the flight spell ran out.
Aria used a few moments to magically heal Oliver’s leg.

Then they went and carried Raoden down to the alleyway to have Sergor heal him.
After the paralysis and poison were removed, the plan was officially reset.
Oliver flew in from the top of the bell tower, and Raoden waited outside the window.
He opened the window for Raoden who then flew in and investigated the area and crates for traps.
The crates themselves were not trapped, but the wall behind them was trapped.
Oliver tried to discern how to disable the trap’s mechanism but failed.
Raoden figured out that there’s a false wall and trying to open it will cause a trap to spring.
The two tried to lift the crate quietly together because they are two weaklings. They succeeded then immediately put it down with sore arms. They opened it and found dried foodstuffs, oil, weapons, etc.

Reexamining the slits in the trap Oliver thought it’s probably for releasing a type of gas. They looked for a way to disable the trap and failed. Oliver emptied a sack to block the window, to hide the fact that he lit a torch so he could look through the trap slit, where he saw a button. Oliver tried to press it with a thief’s tool but it was already pressed.
He realized the brick is holding the button pressed and unpressing it will trigger a trap, so he stuck something in to keep it pressed. He rolled a 1. A gas sprayed on both of them and Oliver fell asleep. Raoden opened the window to let the gas out, but not before wisely putting out the torch, which he thought to do by himself with no outside help or retconning whatsoever.
Behind the false wall were a bunch of wallets. Raoden exchanged money for ball bearings and got 500 gp worth. He reset the trap then teleported Oliver to some rooftop to recuperate. He then failed to push the crate back. Aria noticed that the homeless man near the bell tower is getting suspicious, so she used Thaumaturgy to slam shut a window in the area as a way of explaining the ruckus as coming from somewhere nearby.
Then she used Message to communicate with Raoden – their plan was to teleport Sergor inside so he can lift the crate and move it 5 feet, then teleport him back.

Noticing the homeless person got suspicious, Aria told Finley to reenact the “couple fooling around” plan. They pretended they were fooling around in public and the homeless guy seemed amused and went back to his spot. Raoden teleported an armorless Sergor into the room, and he moved the crates back to place. Aria then made a needless sound effect. The group decided to get Sergor to cure the poison off of Oliver but he didn’t wake up, so they decided to wait for him to wake up. By the time Oliver woke up it was around 5am and the sky started to brighten. He then snuck up and rearmed all the traps, managing to get out quietly. After the group had cleared the building the bells of the church rang for the new day.

19 Hammer

Immediately after they returned to the inner city Finley went to visit Holly. He showed her the pearl Kanen gave him, which prompted her to berate Kanen. He told her he wasn’t comfortable keeping it, and Kanen wouldn’t take it back, so Holly offered to sell it off and split the profits 50-50 like a common scammer.
Finley explained that he thinks Kanen gave him the pearl as part of a mating ritual, so he’s afraid Kanen would get offended if he sold it off.
He tacked on the story of how he gave a 100GP gem to Cera, but then left immediately after without knowing if she accepted it or not, which made Holly mad because a reporter was asking around about him.
Then she tucked the pearl inside her gigantic old-lady bosom, and pressured Finley into eating breakfast, which he ate and then fell asleep right by the table.

Raoden went to his therapist to tell him he is sad because he was talked into firebombing wolf cubs. The therapist asked him what he would have done differently and Raoden said he would have raised the cubs himself. He thought maybe he should have talked his friends out of killing the wolves. The therapist told him it’s natural to feel sad about it, and feeling nothing would mean something is wrong. He told him to be less suggestible and stand up for himself.
Raoden was afraid of his friends being mad at him for not doing what they say. The therapist said he could have suggested alternatives. He concluded the session by giving Raoden homework: Calmly and rationally tell his friends no when they tell him to do something he dislikes, explain why not, and to do it five times.

Sergor went to the newly-rebuilt Hammered Anvil to speak with Flintcarver, the master blacksmith.
He asked her if she could make an armor out of the Ankheg shell he carved out previously.
She said it’s not gonna be a problem, as it’s an exotic armor and she’s an exotic creature herself. Probably could make a very light half-plate from it, like a mithril half-plate but from an Ankheg.

Aria went to meet with Father Alby. They launched into a theological debate about the belief systems of the gods.
Aria said even though her faith lies with Kelemvor her power increasingly comes from Bhaal. Alby explained to her that elves believe their powers come from Corellon, however not all of them worship him. She can choose what to do with her divine spark.
Aria said that sometimes her actions seem to befit Bhaal more than Kelemvor, such as murdering people rather than letting them die on their own terms. Alby told her that killing is not necessarily unnatural, such as a lion hunting a gazelle. He told her Kelemvor will give her a sign if he is displeased with her actions.
Aria thanked him for his guidance and then went to meditate.

20 Hammer

Di next morning, Finley went to give Oliver flight potions so he go to the Coastal Paradise.
But first, Baldur’s Mouth. The article accused Finley of being part of The Smokehouse Conspiracy, and suggests that Duke Silvershield helped him get his workshop and lock Norrid Runecoat away. In addition, it accused him of being part of an illegal fighting arena, in charge of supplying healing potions. Lastly, it mentioned that he slept with at least 6 girls in Beregost, one of them getting pregnant, and that he denies it all to protect his affair with Kanen Barrow.

They all started grilling Finley about getting Cera pregnant. Raoden suggested going to the Baldur’s Mouth to intimidate them to stop printing the exposes. During a conversation with Sergor, it came up that Raoden’s uncle was a god that died. From that they ventured that Raoden considers his dad’s adventuring group as his uncles, which he claimed he does because they all helped raise him. Two of them taught him what he knows about self defense and surviving out in the world, and the third, fun uncle who was his dad’s best friend taught him how to be a chaotic son of a bitch.

After that, Oliver flew to visit The Coastal Paradise using Finley’s flight potion and met with Caleb, the owner.
Caleb proceeded to tell Oliver that following the scathing expose published about him, the Coastal Paradise has seen such a sharp increase in customers, that they doubled the prices twice without any impact on customer volume. He’s even thinking of opening a second brothel and franchising out. He suggested getting him someone to sleep with but Oliver said he’s not currently in shape, showing him his leg. Caleb asked why he came then and he said he came to visit a friend. Caleb said Nelly is busy but she could spare a few minutes later if he can help, and suggested he wait in the common room, but Oliver asked if he had somewhere more private and Caleb suggested his office.
Oliver stayed around to watch Caleb working on the ledgers, getting excited over and over seeing the insane profits.
A while later Caleb was informed Nelly is free so Oliver flew to Nellie’s room. She asked him about his leg and they spoke about how she’s swamped with work now that she was mentioned in the news. She said people have very specific and changing ideas of how they do things, and most of them specifically want to visit her now and lick her feet (because they think Oliver does that), which she’s not interested in.
He told her the newspaper didn’t describe her, so they can claim any other woman in the brothel is Nelly. She said that’s a good idea and she would suggest it to Caleb.
She asked him how he is doing about the expose and he said he was mainly worried about her. She told him that she’s worried about the piracy part, because Baldur’s Gate has a death sentence for pirates. He told her that he doesn’t believe they will bother him considering his reputation in the city, but they will cross that bridge if and when they get to it. He then flew to the room he was renting because he was running out of flight potions.

Sergor went to arrange a picnic with his girlfriend though he cheaped out on wine.
He told her that the expose about him would probably claim that he blackmailed her father to allow their dating. She said that her father would be angry to hear that because he would never surrender to blackmail.
They spoke some more while riding, then reached the picnic spot and sat down to eat while watching the sun set.
On the way back from the picnic they were not attacked by gibberlings, to everyone’s disappointment.

21 Hammer

Finley went to pick up his brand new eye-cover made from the gold monocle they found in Ulcaster’s school.
He went to the workshop to show Raoden, who said it’s very cool, but also Aria was there for some reason.
Sergor went to teach at his school again, for a record second day in a row.

Aria talked to Gerald about the serial killer under the Watch’s jurisdiction. He said the latest victim was a prolific merchant in the Wide, killed five days ago. All of the victims were stabbed multiple times but showed no signs of struggle. He told her the Watch would never officially accept help but could use the help unofficially.

Sergor returned to his uncle’s home and met Rollerend, who gave him an expensive, gem-adorned chess set where there’s a Red Lady themed side, and an evil-gods themed side which was white even though everyone knows the blacks are evil.
Rollerend asked Sergor for a game, and they talked about some of Sergor’s history as a Red Knight and how he became a paladin while playing.
Then Rollerend became Frank.
He admonished him for being just like a fighter; For a Red Knight, everything is a battlefield to strategize.
The game of politics is one such battlefield, one that decides the fates of many other battlefields.
Sergor said he’s more concerned with practicalities, but Rollerend said that he’s noticed Sergor has actually been involved with different Patriars, some in high places, and he’s prone to being outmaneuvered. Then he checkmated Sergor in a stunning display of bulging masculinity.

Back in the workshop when Finley and Raoden were done working on the potion for the day Finley tried to taste it to see if it tastes right. Raoden said he thinks he is going to get the apprenticeship regardless and thanked Finley for the help. Finley told him that ever since he started being an alchemist his master always made him feel like he is disappointing him and then Norrid took all the credit for his work and made him feel that his work is worthless, but now that he helped Raoden it made him feel like he has a talent for that after all. Raoden agreed and said that he is very talented and he’s just used to assholes who are too far up their own ass. He said that that was probably his old master’s bad way of teaching – Keep Finley down so that he doesn’t rise above his rank. They talked about how they both look down on themselves, Raoden said that he thinks he is a misunderstood genius and Finley is a not confident genius. They had a potion hug. Raoden thanked him for the conversation because he is bad with friendships. They shook hands and said that they are potion buddies for life, then titled themselves “The potion boys™”. Raoden said he doesn’t want to make any more potions and hoped that Marzat wouldn’t make him make any more. He’d rather leave it to the pros (see: Finley) and focus on magic.

They talked about their old friends who they haven’t been in touch with in a while, and about druids they knew. Finley told him he made a device that allows him to speak to animals that he made months ago but haven’t had the chance to use yet. Raoden told him about his idea that involves dog servants. They concluded they should wait for the next day.

22 Hammer

Waking up bright and early, Raoden bottled the Heroism Potion to bring over to Marzat after 12 grueling days of potion brewing.
On the way, Raoden saw Mordalla – an angelic being by all accounts – back in the Gate after finishing her latest adventure. She made small talk with Raoden about what the both of them were doing, and Raoden spilled his spaghetti and his potion. They agreed to meet up later at Kipp’s to tell him the good news about his apprenticeship.

He reached the Windswept Tower, and a jew opened the door for him and took him to Marzat.
He handed the potion to Marzat, who smelled it and said it seems like he almost used the correct ingredients. She put the potion along with seven others, to Raoden’s surprise. He thought all the competition was dead based on their deaths. She told him she will get back to him soon, hopefully tomorrow.
He told her he was going to stop the Preacher during the Blinding and she midway through realized she doesn’t care about adventuring stories and told him his time will be limited once he’s her apprentice. He caught her at her word, saying that means he will definitely be her apprentice and ran off before she could object.